Inquisitive.me

About a year and a half ago, I started journaling and have since tried all kinds of styles to figure out what it really means for me. I know journaling has a clear purpose and benefits—I feel them myself—but some days it still doesn’t quite click. So, I’m on a mission to discover what I should actually be writing about.

For me, journaling is like drawing or writing: you can’t just copy someone else’s style. You have to find your own inspiration. One thing that’s stuck with me no matter how I switch things up is a daily gratitude page. Every day, I write down one thing I’m grateful for.

That’s crucial because we’re wired to focus on the negative. Evolutionarily, noticing threats kept us alive—our brains naturally zero in on the bad stuff. So, by intentionally spotlighting one positive thing a day, I’m trying to rewire my mindset.

As a physical therapist, keeping a positive outlook is vital. I recently read Give and Take by Adam Grant, which really expanded my understanding of this. I briefly mentioned it in my one-year challenge post, but I want to dig deeper because it helped me understand my energy and how I relate to others.

In the book, Grant Grant describes three types of people:

• Takers: Focused on their own interests, helping others only when it benefits them.
• Givers: The ones who lift others up, often at their own expense, prioritizing others’ needs.
• Matchers: Strive for balance, helping others with the expectation of getting help back.

This insight hit home, especially in my field where keeping a happy, balanced mood matters—for me and my patients.

Helping professions like ours often push us into the Giver category. That can be exhausting, especially when you feel stuck or ineffective. Burnout is a real risk—and something I’ll talk about soon.

What I found fascinating from Grant’s research is that Givers can be found at both the top and bottom of the career ladder.

Why do some Givers rise while others struggle? Because not all Givers are the same.

There are Selfless Givers and “Otherish” Givers.

• Selfless Givers throw all their energy into helping others but neglect themselves—leading to burnout and sometimes being taken advantage of.
• Otherish Givers balance giving with self-care, setting boundaries to protect their own wellbeing.

The takeaway? Givers need feedback to feel their efforts matter. But that validation doesn’t always have to come from the same source.

Interestingly, changing context can recharge your energy—even if you’re doing the same work. Say you’re a teacher burnt out at one school. Teaching at a place where students truly appreciate you can reignite your passion. The work stays the same, but the response you get changes everything.

I’ve lived this myself. Working as an employee at a rehab center, I don’t choose my patients. Some are just… draining. Especially those who don’t seem to want to change. After several of those, I can feel my energy draining away, like a vampire slowly sucking it dry.

But then there are patients who listen, really take advice to heart, and show genuine gratitude. That completely refills my tank. Even though I’m still giving the same amount of effort, the difference in return is huge.

I work with both kinds of patients. The difference? One group gives back nothing—I don’t see any progress or appreciation, and that exhausts me. The other group offers respect, gratitude, or even small signs of improvement. That alone is enough to keep me going.

That’s why my journal always has a gratitude page—writing down what I’m thankful for each day.

I also keep a little box for notes about special patient interactions or moments that made me feel good. It’s a simple habit, but it trains my mind to notice—and even seek out—those positive moments more often.

Understanding the balance between giving and self-care is one thing—but putting it into practice can be another. So, let’s try a simple experiment to help you protect your energy while staying true to your giving nature.

🧪 Let’s Experiment

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Giving without balance leads to burnout
—learn to protect your energy and recognize when your efforts truly matter.

If you naturally lean toward being a Giver, it’s essential to also act in your own self-interest. That doesn’t mean you care less—it means you care smarter.

🎯 Try This:

The next time you feel drained, try tuning in more closely to the impact you’re making. Ask your patients or those you help, “Is this the kind of support you need right now?” Notice their response and how it makes you feel. If someone consistently resists change or doesn’t seem open, consider whether it might be healthier to refer them elsewhere. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

🧠 Final Thought:

Remember, your ability to give sustainably depends on seeing that your giving truly makes a difference. When you learn to recognize and nurture those moments, you’ll not only preserve your energy—you’ll amplify the positive impact you have on others.

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Keep it simple, stay curious, and keep learning—you’ve got this.

Take care,

Carina 🦊