Inquisitive.me

As physiotherapists, we work with people in pain almost every day. And while we do our best to understand what our patients are going through, there’s one big challenge we all face — something called the perspective gap.

The perspective gap happens when we’re not in pain ourselves. We might be caring, skilled, and well-intentioned — but if we’re not currently experiencing what the other person is, it’s hard to truly imagine their pain.

This isn’t just theory. Research shows how our current state shapes how we perceive others’ pain. Here’s a fascinating example.

A study with cold chambers and warm arms 🥶

Researchers split participants into three groups before sending them into an icy cold chamber for several hours:

• Group 1: warmed up their arm in hot water beforehand.
• Group 2: cooled their arm in cold water.
• Group 3: cooled their arm, then filled out a questionnaire for 10 minutes — so by the time they entered the chamber, their arm had warmed up again.

What happened? The group that went in with a cold arm rated the chamber as 14% more painful than the other two groups. Their recent experience with cold made them overestimate how bad it would feel, while the others gave a more balanced assessment.

Why this matters in our work 💡

I once read about a case where an oncologist was deeply concerned about a patient. He suspected something serious and asked a neurologist to perform a lumbar puncture — a procedure that can provide vital information but is also invasive and often painful.

The neurologist hesitated. He worried about putting the patient through extra suffering, especially given how fragile they were. The patient’s family was unsure too. They wanted to protect their loved one from unnecessary pain.

But the oncologist explained the potential benefits and convinced everyone it was worth trying. The neurologist performed the lumbar puncture. Sadly, the patient passed away three days later due to the underlying cancer.

Everyone had good intentions. The goal was to help. But this situation highlights the risk of the perspective gap: even with all our knowledge and experience, we can’t always judge what’s best for someone else — not without involving them in the decision.

Understanding the perspective gap is one thing. Acting on it is another. Here’s how we can start closing that gap in small, meaningful ways.

🧪 Let’s Experiment

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Small awareness can bridge the gap between understanding and truly connecting.

The perspective gap isn’t something we can eliminate entirely — we’re human, after all. But we can be aware of it and take small steps to reduce its impact. Here’s what’s helped me, and what might help you too — whether you’re a physio, doctor, carer, or simply someone who wants to better support others:

🎯 Try This:

• Ask, don’t assume. When someone tells you they’re in pain, resist comparing it to what you think it should feel like. Instead, ask open questions: “How intense is it for you right now?” or “What makes it worse? What makes it better?”
• Pause before you judge. If you notice thoughts like “They’re exaggerating” or “That shouldn’t hurt that much”, take a mental step back. Your pain-free state makes it hard to fully grasp theirs.
• Involve the person in decisions. Patients often have valuable insights into what they can tolerate, what matters most to them, and what they’re willing to risk.
• Practice small acts of empathy. Even if you can’t feel their pain, you can listen, acknowledge, and validate their experience. Using an “I” statement makes it feel warmer: “I can see this is really tough for you” goes a long way.

🧠 Final Thought:

Empathy isn’t about experiencing the same pain — it’s about creating space for someone else’s reality. By asking, pausing, involving, and acknowledging, we reduce the perspective gap and show people they are truly seen. Small steps like these can make a meaningful difference, every single day.

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Keep it simple, stay curious, and keep learning—you’ve got this.

Take care,

Carina 🦊