Inquisitive.me

In Austria, we have a funny saying:

“Bevor I mi aufreg, is ma liaba wurscht.”

Which basically means:

“Before I get upset, I rather don’t care.”

And I think it’s beautiful.

Many of us get angry about stupid things.

I had to park three blocks away because one driver couldn’t park in the right spot and ended up blocking two.

I have to wait in line because the supermarket I choose to shop at is short-staffed and cannot open another cash desk.

I don’t get the correct meal I ordered, even after making several adjustments in the first place.

My recovery doesn’t go as planned.

And many, many more. A lot of these scenarios we cannot change.

And yet, we spend so much mental energy getting frustrated. We replay the scene in our minds, imagine how it “should” have gone, and let it ruin our day. But all that anger? It doesn’t actually solve anything—it just wastes precious energy.

Stoic philosophy, particularly Epictetus, can help here. He pointed out that we have to differentiate between things we can control—our emotions, our thoughts, and our actions—and things we cannot control, like outer circumstances or the actions of others.

This is where I personally found clarity. Instead of fighting the reality of the world, I started focusing on my response to it. I realized that getting upset doesn’t change a blocked parking spot, a long line, or a delayed meal—but it does steal my calm and focus.

This perspective also echoes Seneca:

Don’t suffer imagined troubles.

Stress, anxiety, and anger are often products of imagination, not reality. We exaggerate, anticipate the worst, and then fuel negative emotions that create even more stress.

There’s actually a paradox of control: we can control our actions, but not the outcomes. I can plant a seed, water it, give it the perfect sunlight, but I cannot make it grow. I can only do my part.

The best doctor can’t save every life. The best physiotherapist can’t heal every injury. The best coach can’t make every client fit. No matter how hard they try, success depends on factors beyond their control.

And here’s the lesson: the more we focus on outcomes, the more we set ourselves up for frustration. But when we focus on our actions, on what we can influence, life suddenly feels lighter. We stop wasting energy on things that aren’t ours to carry.

As Brandon Sanderson puts it:

Journey before destination.

It’s about showing up fully, doing the work, planting your seeds, and trusting that growth will happen where it can. Letting go of the results is not giving up—it’s freedom. Freedom from imagined troubles, from unnecessary stress, and from anger that doesn’t serve us.

Next time you feel irritation rising, try repeating the Austrian saying in your head: “Before I get upset, I rather don’t care.” It’s not about apathy; it’s about choosing peace over wasted energy. And sometimes, that’s the bravest thing you can do.

🧪 Let’s Experiment

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Practice focusing on what you can control
and letting go of what you cannot.

We get frustrated not because of what happens, but because of how we react. The Stoics teach that peace comes from directing energy toward our own actions, not outcomes or other people’s choices. This isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about choosing where to invest them.

🎯 Try This:

• Identify triggers. Make a short list of situations that regularly make you angry or stressed.
• Separate controllable from uncontrollable. For each trigger, ask: What can I actually control here? (Your actions, thoughts, and responses.) What can I not control? (Other people, timing, results.)
• Act on what’s yours. Focus your energy on the part you can influence. Let go of the rest.
• Pause and repeat. When irritation rises, take a deep breath and silently repeat: “Before I get upset, I rather don’t care.”

🧠 Final Thought:

Your peace and clarity depend on mastering this simple distinction: control your actions, not the outcome. Let go of imagined troubles, embrace the journey, and notice how much lighter life feels when you stop carrying what isn’t yours to carry.

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Keep it simple, stay curious, and keep learning—you’ve got this.

Take care,

Carina 🦊