Inquisitive.me

I’m an overthinker.

I used to be much worse, but over the years I’ve learned a few techniques to keep my negative spirals in check and help my brain focus on what actually matters.

But if you’re someone who tends to overthink, you probably know the pattern.

Something goes wrong — and that’s when it starts.

One negative thought follows the next. The spiral begins. Your mood drops. You can’t stop thinking about anything else. And suddenly, you’re no longer thinking about what happened, but about what it supposedly says about you.

You start believing you’re worthless.

That every decision you’ve ever made was wrong.

That’s when overthinking stops being “thinking” and turns into self-attack.

Luckily, I came across a book by Nick Trenton that really helped me out of this mental mess. It’s called Stop Overthinking (who would have guessed), and it actually delivers on its promise.

Instead of cramming everything into one post, I’ve broken it up. Next week, I’ll share five practical, tested strategies from the book that helped me break the cycle.

Nick Trenton describes overthinking as overdrive.

When we overthink, our brain runs at maximum capacity. We lose control easily, and stress quickly follows. The thoughts become self-destructive, unwanted, and incredibly hard to stop.

Instead of solving problems — which is what our brain is actually good at and meant to do — it does the exact opposite.

Sometimes we even experience meta-thoughts: we’re aware of our own thinking, aware that we’re spiraling, and still… it’s hard to regain control.

Why Overthinking Feels Productive—but Isn’t ⚙️

According to Marcus E. Raichle et al. (2001), our brain has no true downtime. It can’t do nothing. The moment there’s no external task demanding our attention, it turns inward and engages with thoughts meant to ensure our survival.

This system is called the Default Mode Network (DMN).

The DMN is linked to self-referential thinking, memory, and imagination—but also to several mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s disease, autism, depression, and anxiety (Raichle et al., 2001; Broyd et al., 2008).

In other words: when the brain is left alone, it doesn’t rest.

It wanders.

Ever had shower thoughts? That’s why.

And technically, this ability is a good thing.

When we don’t constantly distract our brain with social media, Netflix, gaming, or whatever our preferred escape is, this wandering mind can actually help us. It allows us to reflect on what went wrong, learn from past experiences, connect ideas, and come up with solutions. This is how we grow.

But there’s a fine line.

Left unchecked, this same ability can spiral out of control—as two researchers found out the hard way.

Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert explored this in their study A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind (2010). They found that nearly 50% of the time, people are thinking about something other than what they’re currently doing. Instead of being present, their attention drifts inward.

Nick Trenton argues in his book that fear is the main driver behind overthinking.

Killingsworth and Gilbert go one step further.

They suggest that negative emotions are not only a cause of overthinking—but also its consequence.

A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.

Overthinking can fuel anxiety—and anxiety, in turn, fuels overthinking.

The problem isn’t that we think. Thinking is natural. As mentioned before, the brain cannot not think.

The problem isn’t how much we think, but how we think—and whether we can stop the spiral.

Some people think a lot without suffering from it. Their thoughts don’t turn against them. But Broyd et al. (2008) found that people with depression or anxiety show hyperactivity in the Default Mode Network.

Whitfield-Gabrieli and Ford (2012) suggest that this hyperactivity may be a key reason why negative, repetitive thinking dominates in depression.

And here’s the real trap:

Overthinking gives us the feeling that we’re working on a problem. After all, solving problems is what our brain is built for.

But it’s an illusion. Overthinking feels like progress, when in reality it’s just motion without direction.

We go in circles—analyzing the same issue again and again, reflecting, weighing options, re-evaluating, second-guessing. Yet nothing solid comes out of it. No clear decision. No concrete plan. And most importantly: no action.

It’s like pushing dirt from point A to point B and calling it cleaning.

It looks like effort.

But it leads nowhere.

The Cost of Living in Your Head 😵‍💫

Constant overthinking leads to constant stress. When our mind never slows down, our body stays on high alert.

This activates the Hypothalamic–Pituitary–Adrenal (HPA) axis, also known as the stress axis. As a result, cortisol and adrenaline are released into the body — not occasionally, but repeatedly.

Over time, this constant flood of stress hormones takes a toll.

Physically and mentally, it can show up as an increased heart rate, digestive issues, persistent fatigue, nightmares, and a lack of motivation. Our perception shifts: we notice more negative things, our self-esteem drops, and our ability to solve problems decreases — ironically, the very thing overthinking promises to improve.

But overthinking doesn’t just affect us.

It spills into our surroundings.

Relationships can suffer. Friendships become strained. We withdraw socially, grow more impatient with others, and react more emotionally than we intend to.

And then there are the quieter consequences.

Overthinkers tend to stay up far too long, even when they know they have to get up early. The mind won’t switch off — so sleep gets sacrificed. Healthy routines fall apart. Convenience replaces intention. Junk food becomes more frequent.

None of this happens because of a lack of discipline.

It happens because living in a constant state of mental tension drains the energy needed to make good choices — for our body, our relationships, and ourselves.

That’s the real cost of living in your head.

Why Awareness Beats Distraction 🥊

First, ignore almost every piece of advice you’ve heard so far.

Don’t ignore your thoughts.

Don’t push them away.

Don’t tell your brain to “just stop thinking.”

And don’t distract yourself with social media, gaming, Netflix, books—or whatever your preferred drug is.

Just don’t.

I know it’s tempting. It feels convenient, because for a moment, your mind finally goes quiet. But let me tell you from experience: it doesn’t work.

It makes things worse.

Avoidance feels like relief, but it’s really just debt. You either face your thoughts now—or you pay for them later, with interest.

And when you do that, you throw away the only real weapon you have against overthinking: your awareness.

Awareness—unlike overthinking—is free from emotion, interpretation, negativity, and judgment.

It’s neutral.

It’s calm.

You don’t believe me? Let’s look at the difference.

“Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. I’m incapable of basic stuff. I can’t believe I failed again. What will other people think of me? Now nobody wants anything to do with me.”

Emotion. Interpretation. Negativity. Judgment.

Every box checked.

Now compare that to this:

“Alright. I made a mistake. That happens. What can I learn from this?”

Calm. Neutral. Open.

This mindset doesn’t shut you down—it creates space for solutions.

Overthinking keeps us stuck either in the past (which often feeds depression) or in the future (which fuels anxiety). One way to interrupt this loop is to pull yourself back into the present moment.

Some activities naturally do that: climbing, sex, trying a new recipe—anything that fully demands your attention.

Nick Trenton shares practical techniques in his book that help shift awareness back to the present. I’ve tested them myself—and they genuinely helped.

What surprised me most was how simple these techniques are. No forcing. No fighting. No mental gymnastics.

Just small shifts that pull you out of your head and back into the moment.

In the next post, I’ll break down five of these small shifts—the ones that made the biggest difference for me.

---

📝 Key takeaways

• Overthinking is your brain in overdrive — not a weakness, but an unhelpful coping strategy.
• The brain is never truly “off.” When it has no task, it turns inward.
• Overthinking often feels productive, but it rarely leads to action or solutions.
• Instead of solving problems, it keeps you looping between past regrets and future fears.
• This mental loop increases stress and can negatively affect mood, sleep, and focus.
• Distraction may quiet the noise temporarily, but it doesn’t resolve the underlying pattern.
• Awareness is the key difference between thinking and overthinking.
• Small shifts in awareness can bring you back into the present moment.

---

Thanks for spending this time with me. Keep exploring, stay open to new ideas, and remember—growth is a journey, not a destination.

Take care,

Carina 🦊