Inquisitive.me

Get rid of patients that suck.

Okay, I know that sounds harsh.

I’ll soften it a little bit: Some patients cost you more energy than others.

Every day, we listen to people who are in pain.

They struggle with training.
They struggle with everyday activities.
Sometimes they struggle with life in general.

And when they walk into our practice, they expect something from us.

They expect us to listen.
They expect us to stay positive.
They expect us to motivate them.
And, quite often, they expect us to have a solution.

That takes energy.

Even on a good day, with patients I genuinely enjoy working with sprinkled throughout my schedule, I usually feel drained by the evening.

That’s not necessarily a problem. It’s simply part of the job.

For me, that means I need time alone afterward. I walk Leto. I go for a run. I write. I recharge so that I have enough energy again the next morning.

That’s resource management.

But then there’s another category of patients.

The ones who don’t just require energy.

They empty the tank.

You probably know the type.

You explain.
You listen.
You adapt the plan.
You motivate.
You try another explanation.
You try another approach.
You invest more and more energy into making the process work.

And somehow, nothing comes back.

Not necessarily because they are bad people.

Sometimes they simply aren’t ready to take an active role in their rehabilitation. Sometimes what they need is outside your expertise. Sometimes your approach and what they expect from therapy just don’t match.

Whatever the reason, you eventually notice that you are working harder for their rehabilitation than they are.

And that is where I think we need to be careful.

Because your energy is a limited resource.

If you spend a disproportionate amount of it trying to help one person, you have less available for everyone who comes afterward.

Think about running a marathon.

If you completely empty yourself during the first five kilometers, you still have another 37 to go.

Good luck with that. It’s a long way to go. Trust me. I’m currently in marathon prep and 30+ kilometers is no joke.

Your working day isn’t that different.

If one patient drains a huge part of your mental resources at 9 a.m., those resources aren’t magically restored when the next patient walks through the door at 10.

I had such a patient once. After 45 minutes with them, my energy was literally gone.

But the next patient deserves your attention too.

That changed the way I think about boundaries in my practice.

Setting a boundary with one patient isn’t necessarily selfish. Sometimes, it protects your ability to properly care for the others.

I’ve learned this the hard way during my first three years in practice.

A few times, I waited too long.

I kept trying.

Another explanation.
Another strategy.
Another attempt to motivate someone.
More patience.
More energy.

And eventually, I was frustrated, the patient still hadn’t changed, and I had less energy for everyone else.

Nobody really benefited.

Of course, this doesn’t mean dropping every patient who is challenging.

Some people need more support for a while. Some need more patience. Some need a different explanation before something finally clicks.

That’s part of our job.

But there’s a difference between supporting someone through a difficult phase and trying to drag someone through a process they aren’t participating in.

You cannot indefinitely compensate for that with your own energy.

Sometimes the responsible thing is to draw a line.

To say: I don’t think I’m the right person to help you right now.

Maybe they’ll be ready later. Maybe another professional or another approach will suit them better.

And if that happens, you can still be there.

But you don’t have to drain yourself trying to create change for someone who currently can’t—or doesn’t want to—participate in creating it.

Your energy is part of what allows you to do your job well.

Treat it like the limited resource it is.

🧪 Let’s Experiment

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You can’t give every patient unlimited access to a limited resource: your energy.

Think about the patients who consistently leave you exhausted.

🎯 Try This:

Ask yourself:

What part of this rehabilitation belongs to me?

What part belongs to the patient?

Am I currently taking responsibility for something that isn’t mine?

Maybe the answer is no. Maybe this patient simply needs more support right now.

But if the answer keeps being yes, that tells you something.

🧠 Final Thought:

You can teach, guide, adapt, encourage, and offer a way forward.

But you cannot walk that way for someone else.

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